Yep, I'm trying again.. With help of course..

You can't have a kid alone, right? Well, here I am after THINKING I had happily moved on from the baby obsession. Well, my clock is ticking again. I know I'll need help (I mean other than hubby help.) I'll need meds AND I have to lose WEIGHT. That is gonna be the hardest part. I mean, I'd lost weight before, but as soon as that stress hit my ass I as right back up there. I'm very inactive now. Some days, Only get out of bed for about 2 hours!! I know that's somewhat depression, but I'll get over that. It's not major.. Most of it, I must say is LAZINESS. But if I want this kid to come to be, I have some big changes to make. I think the little one is worth it.

I'm already to start my herbal treatment. I ordered FertilAid for Women and FertilAid CM. These are supposed to be like herbal Prevera and clomid all in one. Am I looking for this to work.. Well, I'm HOPING for it to, but I've learned after a life of getting my hopes dashed to not get them up too high. Still I gotta be able to say I tried. I love my unborn children already and I will do what I have to to bring them into the world. :)


This is my journal. It will be full of feelings. I know somedays will be good. Some bad.. Some, I'll be just HERE. LoL.. But I feel keeping a journal is the best way to keep a lid on that. I've joined several support groups, so I have my bases covered in the support area. I need to get in touch with a OBGYN to get that ball rolling. But all that will be done in time.

How's hubby taking all this. Well, he's not the emotional type like me. He's more of a do it or don't attitude. Thus the groups. They'll give me that extra support I need when I'm about to collapse to the floor in tears and he's telling me "Get up and just DO IT!!" And I need someone to say "It'll be ok.. Now go do it.." Same thing. Different approach, ya see. :)

Well, feelings... Today, I feel... Alright I guess. I ate light all day. No real activity though, but the light meal is a start. Today is the full moon, that's always good. I have my water, herbs, and coins purifying in the window sill. :) Tomorrow I'll offer them up to the spirits. (Oh yeah, I want to make sure my kids learn this. It's a nice jesture. Especially if you're not just praying for YOU.) Anyway, that has nothing to do with this.. I feel good to be back into that kinda thing. The whole Priestess deal. Gives you a nice peaceful feeling inside.. Well inside ME anyway. I guess I'm pretty happy today. I haven't started any treatments yet, so there's not hormonal out bursts yet. I'm sure those will be hella interesting. :)

I guess that's all for now.. More as it becomes available. :p

Jen