All these years of hoping trying and ending up in tears. And it's finally come. The day to just call it quits.
This decision didn't come easy. A baby was my last standing wish for my life. My final goal. So that was tough. Not to mention the love I already have for this little one. Like he/she exists. Somewhere. It was not easy.
Now, I'm not saying I don't still want children. I do. But I'm done trying. Done getting my hopes up only to have them come crashing down on hard jagged rocks. If it happens it happens. If not., well. It didn't.
Now comes the grieving period. The loss of my dreams and my hopes for my little one. I doubt this will be easy. Even now that I'm putting it in this blog post, I don't think my heart really believes what my mind is saying. I've wanted this child since I was 17. That's 20 years. So it's not easy to give up. To say "That's it!! I can't do this anymore."
So. Until further notice, I'm out of the TTC game. But don't you give up. This is just my situation and after actually trying for the last 17 years with my husband and still nothing, this is NOT typical! Your chances are likely much better than ours were. Don't give up hope. .•*•.BabyDust.•*•. Still goes out to you!!
On a lighter note, we've decided to adopt a kitten. I'll probably start a blog about that. Something light hearted and fun about our little kitty. I'll come back with the link as soon as it's ready.