Well it was bound to happen sooner or later.

 All these years of hoping trying and ending up in tears. And it's finally come. The day to just call it quits. 

  This decision didn't come easy. A baby was my last standing wish for my life. My final goal. So that was tough. Not to mention the love I already have for this little one. Like he/she exists. Somewhere.  It was not easy. 

  Now, I'm not saying I don't still want children. I do. But I'm done trying. Done getting my hopes up only to have them come crashing down on hard jagged rocks. If it happens it happens. If not., well. It didn't. 

Now comes the grieving period. The loss of my dreams and my hopes for my little one. I doubt this will be easy. Even now that I'm putting it in this blog post, I don't think my heart really believes what my mind is saying. I've wanted this child since I was 17. That's 20 years. So it's not easy to give up. To say "That's it!! I can't do this anymore." 

  So. Until further notice, I'm out of the TTC game. But don't you give up. This is just my situation and after actually trying for the last 17 years with my husband and still nothing, this is NOT typical! Your chances are likely much better than ours were. Don't give up hope. .•*•.BabyDust.•*•. Still goes out to you!!

  On a lighter note, we've decided to adopt a kitten. I'll probably start a blog about that. Something light hearted and fun about our little kitty. I'll come back with the link as soon as it's ready. 

~*J

So..

Well so far, I'm just starting Vitex so I'm taking my Vitex and one Geritol a day. I was already taking the Geritol. I keep forgetting, however to take my temperature!!! Ugh! I'll remember for a few days. Even a week. Then I'll just forget. It's frustrating but I know it's worth it to keep trying. 

It helps that DH is interested in the baby now. However I kinda wonder why now? I guess with his illness this would be a sign of virility. How better to prove your manliness than to fertilize your waiting woman?! LoL. I don't know. It just seems like other times were better to get involved than now. Healthier times. I don't know. Only he knows the answer to that one. Maybe it is my feeling that the baby might be a boy. It would be his only son, so. Hey, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth!! (Crazy ass expression! Why the hell would I?!! LoL!) I'm glad to have him on board at last!  Maybe we can make this happen finally.

There's not much to tell today, but I'm  going to try to post almost daily. Even if just to say "not yet!" Or "took my meds" Or "It was POSITIVE!!!" Some day. 

But for now, the journey to mommyhood. 

.*•*.*•*.*•*.*•BabyDust.*•*.*•*.*•*.*•*.*•.

~J     

Well time to get started.

Vitex, that is. I've had an unstable temperature spike, but this is day 98 of my cycle. I was going to wait until day 100, but I'm pretty sure my cycles have decided to quit again. For one, I've gained so much WEIGHT since I quit the job. And when I gain weight I often lose my cycle as well. So a weight loss is definitely called for. This is why I almost don't need a diagnosis of PCOS, all I need is a check up to make SURE it's not something else. 

So, tomorrow is day 99. I'll be starting a day early, but that ok, as I know I'm not ovulating right now (negative OPT) and I don't think my period was "on the way". And I know I'm not pregnant because we haven't had much sex lately. We wanted to temp and get a baseline first. With DH's difficulties it's a lot less stress on him to not waste effort on a non productive cycle. (That sounded bad, I know. But trust me, it's ok. ) 

Honestly I was on the verge of giving up or at least just.. I don't know. I was starting to grieve. Grieve for the babies I'd never be able to have. I still WANT a baby, but after so long you start to think.. Maybe it's not going to happen. 

I tried to adopt a puppy, but $100 is NOT what I remember!! When I had dogs, they were free! LoL! So... But it was kinda devastating. I was like, GOD I'm not even worthy of a DOG!! (Hey I was in a dark place that day!!) 

I was about to tap out. 

Then we were at the laundromat (my dryer is on the fritz as well. *sigh* it never ends sometimes!!) and I saw this tiny little sock someone had left behind. It was so adorable. I mentioned to DH that it was so little and cute. And what he said would be insignificant to a person who doesn't know the TTC struggle, but to ME it was everything. 

He looked at the sock and said "That's how little your baby's sock is gonna be." And just walked off like it was just the normal thing to say.. Like, it's gonna happen so he wasn't  worried about it. LoL! And that little thing gave me so much hope. I felt renewed in this journey again. He has no idea how much that little sentence help pull me back in the ring and helped me to keep going. 

And I'm not gonna tell him because he'll ruin it.. LoL! 

Anyway, this is the Vitex I will be using

I got it at Amazon, I forget the cost. It's cheaper at Puritan's Pride though I do remember that. I'm pretty sure it's all pretty much the same. Last time I was taking this, I combined it with Black Cohosh and it was working I guess. I did get a period here and there as I remember, but I got this awful stomachache and had to stop taking it. I had PLENTY left over, but lost the bottles in our 2 moves since then, actually now 3 moves. So I had to buy more, sans the black cohosh. 

I actually got an awesome tip from a former TTC'er turned Mommy about FertilAid/Vitex. There are many tales of women having success with the herb, only to have it ripped away in a miscarriage. The reason seems to be the sudden stop of the supplement. She said she takes the herb for the first 12 weeks, then weans off quickly. Or the first 8 weeks.. I'll have to look it up again. But the point is to keep taking it until the placenta takes over and starts producing it's own hormones. Then you wean off. Before that you progesterone levels may drop and you'll miscarry. It's just one person's advice but it kind of proved my suspicion and I thought about doing the same. And her theory is sound and the proof is 2 healthy children. So. it's worth a shot. 

So, yeah. Basically I'm starting my holistic fertility treatments tomorrow. :)

.*•*.•*•.•*•.BabyDust.•*•*•.•*•.•*•.

~J

Oh The Waiting!!

  And waiting.... And waiting.. AND WAITING!!! *sigh* 

It's times like this that extremely long cycles really SUCK! With a 46 day long cycle that sometimes skips a cycle or two you have nearly 100 days before you know that it's time to take the next step. In my case, starting Vitex. Right now I'm at day 89. 2 missed cycles is day 92. So I'm almost there. I plan to wait until after day 100 before starting the drug. 

I think my missed cycles are skipping also because of my recent weight gain. Since my husband and I began working for ourselves, we aren't as active as we use to be and that has lead to a bit if a weight gain. I know that once my weight gets to a certain point, my cycles skip or STOP! So that's something to take care of. Honestly I would like to lose a good 50lbs. It sounds like a lot, but at my weight that huge loss would just put me at my norm- about 170. So, that sounds great. :) I recently got a book called "The 17 Day Diet" by Dr. Mike Moreno. I received it through Swaggable, a sampling group that I am a part of. I haven't had time to actually read it. I don't go for fad diets anymore, but a nice jumpstart might be be just what I need right now. My sister wants to go on a diet also, so maybe I'll at least have a diet buddy. 

  Well, that's it for now. More once I get this officially started. :)

Thanks for reading. :)

~J

Vitex.. Is it safe?

Are you thinking if taking Vitex? Read this article. Makes me feel pretty good about taking it!! 

.•*•.•*•.BabyDust.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*

Vitex.... Fertility Super Herb?

By Hethir Rodriguez 

 http://natural-fertility-info.com/vitex

Vitex is a beautiful shrub native to Greece and Italy whose berries have been used in herbal medicine for centuries. It is considered one of the most popular herbs in Europe and other Western nations for the support of gynecological imbalances.

Modern clinical research and traditional use of vitex have shown its amazing ability to help balance fertility hormones. Since vitex does not contain hormones it has a supportive, gentle and non direct action on the body. Vitex is one of the most useful fertility herbs available to us.

How Vitex Works

Our current understanding of vitex is that it has a supporting and regulating effect upon the pituitary gland. The pituitary is known as the “master gland” because it controls many vital bodily functions such sending chemical signals to the ovaries, telling them how much hormones to make. This communication is known as the hormonal feedback loop.

Vitex has been shown in studies to:

Vitex is one of the best fertility herbs available to us when it comes to balancing hormones and regulating the menstrual cycle.

Inhibit follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH): Vitex increases the secretion of luteinising hormone (LH), which in turn increases progesterone.

Lengthens a short luteal phase:Studies have shown vitex to be affective at lengthening the luteal phase. While it does not contain any hormones itself, it does help the body to increase its own production of luteinizing hormone (promoting ovulation to occur) which in turns boosts progesterone levels during the luteal phase of the cycle.

Increased progesterone levels: Vitex has been shown to stimulate the formation of the corpus luteum. The corpus luteum is responsible for the secretion of progesterone. In a study of 45 women, 86% responded positively with normalized or significantly improved progesterone levels.

Reduces advancement of mild endometriosis: Vitex is used in Germany by gynecologists to treat mild endometriosis and prevent it from advancing.

May help prevent miscarriage: Vitex has a beneficial impact on progesterone levels. If miscarriages are due to low progesterone, vitex may help to normalize or increase progesterone levels. Vitex may be considered safe to use during pregnancy, but make sure to consult with a healthcare practitioner when using this herb during pregnancy. Also make sure to read our ‘Use During Pregnancy’ section below.

Relieves PMS: Clinical research has shown that vitex may be very beneficial for PMS symptoms, especially depression, headaches, rashes, acne, allergies and sensitivity of the breasts. In one study improvement of PMS by the first month was experienced by 32% of the women. By the third month 84% of the women experienced improvement of their PMS.

Lack of menstruation (amenorrhea): In a study of 15 women with amenorrhea, 65% had resumed a menstrual cycle by the sixth month of use. Progesterone levels also increased.

Irregular menstruation: Vitex has been shown to help balance both an absent menstrual cycle as well as aid a menstrual cycle that is heavy or too frequent.

Uterine cysts: Vitex has been found to be helpful at reducing cysts that are growing within the smooth muscle layer of the uterus.

Stabilization of menstruation after stopping birth-control pills: After discontinuing estrogen-containing birth control pills, vitex taken for several months has been shown to help stabilize the cycle and induce ovulation more quickly.

Helps stimulate milk production in new mothers: For over 2,000 years vitex has been used to help stimulate mother’s milk. Begin using vitex right after birth and continue for 10 days or more as needed.

Acne: Several studies have shown an improvement in the skin with the use of vitex. Along with appropriate diet changes vitex may help acne.

Vitex can help basically any issues that one experiences that disappear once pregnancy begins and returns after breastfeeding ends.

How to Use Vitex

For optimal results vitex should be taken long-term. Clinical research shows that vitex may start working within 10 days, but full benefits may not be experienced until 6 months or longer. For PMS results are normally seen by the second menstrual cycle. But for lasting changes it may need to be taken for up to a year or more depending on how long the imbalance has been present.

Vitex is making fundamental changes in the delicate chemical chemistry of the body, this is why it takes some time to have an effect. Since vitex is a harmonizing and nourishing herb, it works  behind the scenes to restore balance in a gentle way. Unlike a refined synthetic drug which forces the body to change, vitex works to nourish and support the system bringing about long term balance.

Vitex use & Dosage
Vitex is generally suggested to be taken once a day in the morning on an empty stomach (half an hour before breakfast). If vitex is being used as part of a herbal blend containing other herbs, use as directed on the bottle. Vitex should be used all month long without a break.

• Capsules: 900-1,000mg a day
• Tincture: 60-90 drops a day

Which is the best vitex to take?
Vitex comes in many forms, loose herbs, capsules, tea, tincture and powder. We find that capsules and tinctureoffer the most consistent results since it is easier to control the dosage. Many of the compounds needed from vitex are easily extracted in alcohol (tincture) versus water (tea). Vitex is very strong tasting, almost bitter, so I would not suggest making a tea unless you blend other herbs with it, that is one reason capsules are so convenient.

Does Vitex Work for Everyone?

Vitex generally works for most adult women in their childbearing years (from age 18-perimenopause), but there are some cases where it may have no effect.

Women who have less than ideal lifestyle habits will probably not experience the full effects of vitex. For those who have low energy reserves, weak immune systems, eat mostly processed foods, have been on antibiotics or steroids for a while – changes in diet and lifestyle are necessary prior to beginning the use of vitex. Without making these changes in addition to using vitex, you may not experience results.

Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause.Perimenopause typically begins at the age of 40. As perimenopause progresses toward menopause, it is normal for menstrual cycles to become irregular and for hormone levels to fluctuate. As ovarian reserve diminishes and egg health declines, FSH levels may rise. For some women vitex may be helpful in maintaining regular cycles and lowering higher FSH levels, but vitex cannot reverse the aging process. It may or many not be effective for women in perimenopause, each woman is different. Vitex cannot bring back the menstrual cycle in women who have gone through menopause.

Safety & Side Effects

Vitex has been used for over 2,000 years with no significant side-effects reported. Some minor and infrequent side-effects (1-2% of users may experience) have been nausea, gastrointestinal upset, skin reactions, and headache. Women with a history of depression taking vitex for menstrual irregularity may experience an exacerbation of depressive symptoms.

Even though it has been shown to have no interference with oral contraceptive vitex should not be used in conjunction with prescribed progesterone containing medication such as birth control pills in case it may interfere with their activity.

Some women do experience a shift in their cycle when they first begin using vitex. The length of the menstrual cycle may shorten or lengthen temporarily before it finally stabilizes. This is just the body balancing itself out and is completely normal.

Safety ratings

• German Commission E has approved the use of vitex for menstrual cycle irregularities, premenstrual disturbances, and mastodynia.
• The Botanical Safety Handbook had categorized vitex as a class 1 herb . Class 1 herbs are herbs that can be safely consumed when used appropriately.

Vitex use During Pregnancy

It is believed that vitex’s ability to increase progesterone levels has explained the positive results seen by herbalists and midwives who used it to help prevent recurrent miscarriages in women. No studies on humans have been done yet supporting this, only traditional usage. There have been reproductive toxicology studies with female rats where they were given up to 80 times the concentrated used clinically in humans, showing no difference in offspring compared with the rates given none.

According to German research, vitex can be taken safely through the end of the third month of pregnancy and may help prevent miscarriage. It is still considered safe to take after the third month, but may stimulate lactation too early, so for this reason it is suggested to not continue after the third month of pregnancy. Also at month three of pregnancy is the time the placenta takes over progesterone production on its own so vitex most likely won’t be needed anyways.

If you are deciding to use vitex during pregnancy, we suggest you consult with an herbalist or midwife for guidance and supervision.

Summary

Vitex is a fantastic herb for fertility, helping with a range if issues such as PMS, low progesterone, lack of ovulation, irregular menstrual cycles, lack of a menstrual cycle, acne and so much more. Vitex offers many benefits but requires patience and consistency of use. It should be used all month long and taken as one dose in the morning on an empty stomach.

.•*•.•*•.

This site is great! Check it out!!

http://Natural-Fertility-Info.com 

~Jen

TTC and Over 30...

 

I won't make this too long, because every mommy- in -waiting who is over 30 has been there before..


Somehow the topic of kids keeps coming up around my baby-maching brother in law. He started making his kids in his teens with same age girls.... Young. Teens and twenties. 

His brother is older than him by a couple of years I think and I'm in my late thirties. (36) 

Well, he has a habit of getting on his soapbox about how women are waiting too long to have kids and how our bodies can't make a healthy baby after a certain age. At first the age was 30- something, now I GUESS realizing I always walk away when he starts this convo, AND I'm over 30, he has moved it up to 40. But STILL says older men will likely have disabled children or children with downs syndrome or SOMETHING suggesting we not even attempt it! 

What's worse is it SEEMS DH is trying to use it as an excuse to not even try sometimes. It's like I'm fighting a friggin' uphill battle!! It's exhausting and painful.  


 Jen 

For PCOS Victims. ❤️

Healthy Diet for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - Topic Overview

The metabolic changes that happen with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) can increase your risk of becoming overweight or obese. You may also have developed some poor eating habits. A healthy diet helps you lose weight or stay at a healthy weight. Controlling your weight can decrease your insulin levels and may result in more regular menstrual cycles. This may relieve some of the symptoms of PCOS.

Here are some tips for choosing a healthy diet.

• Watch your portions. Learn what equals one serving for each of the food groups, and make sure you are not eating portions that are larger than the recommended serving.
• Eat a low-calorie diet.
• Eat low-fat foods. A low-fat diet (less than 30% of calories from fat) helps you manage your weight and helps reduce your risk of heart and metabolic problems with PCOS. Don't forget, though, that the total calories you eat are still an important part of managing your weight.
• Save high-fat food for a special occasion. Fat is a concentrated source of calories and it is tasty, making it easy to eat too many calories. Choose lean meats and meat alternatives to help you decrease the high-fat foods in your diet.
• Limit foods and liquids that are high in sugar. Beverages and foods that have sugar add calories but may not add much nutrition to your diet. Substitute naturally flavored water (without added sugars) for high-sugar drinks (including high-sugar juice drinks). Don't substitute diet drinks-they have higher levels of sodium and caffeine.
• Eat plenty of foods that are high in iron and calcium.
• If you drink alcohol, drink moderate amounts (no more than 1 drink a day for a woman). Drinking excess alcohol increases abdominal fat and your risk ofheart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Source: WebMD