This is it!!

After a very difficult BFN last month, I decided to just go for treatment and just get the pills. Get the Clomid and Provera and go from there. I wanted it to be natural from beginning to end, but I'm going to have to take a medical detour. I'm not getting any younger and this isn't going to get any easier.

So here I am.. Waiting to start fertility treatments. Dec 16 or 22 depending which appointment is available. Shockingly, DH is happy about it. Not sure if je really is happy or if he's just glad I'm doing something "normal". Not all that herbal "crap" I tend to like to do. I love doing things herbally and with meditation. But I'm not opposed to western medicine. Just western attitudes. But I'll take the western medicine and still burn my incense and meditate. Theres no law against it.

The hard thing I have to do though is quit smoking. I am so not ready for that!! LoL! But it must b done. I've decided to quit when I start taking the pills. Some of it is due to that new commercial http://tobaccofreeflorida.com has where the woman gets a BFP and there's smoke around her head and then it was around her baby's head. The rest is due to the fact that I'm just sick of smoking but the addiction keeps me lighting up. The patch wouldn't do me much good cause a good portion of my addiction is just the habit of smoking and you can't smoke a patch or gum. So those aids won't help much. I'd benefit more from support groups, journaling,and blogging. Not to mention twittering. DH isn't the "support" type and his "encouragement" is usually so frank it comes across kinda mean. So that's not gonna help. Luckily my iPhone is always with me and I usually always have a some Internet connection, so I'll be able to blog or Twitter. I should be ok. Though it will still be hard, I have some time, as fertility treatments rarely work immediately. I think the sooner that ball gets rolling the better. Don't wanna have a smokey baby. :p

well I guess that's pretty much it for now. Good thing is I'm more focused on the baby now- or rather, I'm focused again on it. :)

More as it becomes available.

Jen