Got Meds????

I do.. I went to the doctor for eczema medication for my hands and just asked for something to get me "regular" that's not birth control and he gave me 2 cycles of Provera.. Neat. :) I know it won't regulate me but it's a start I guess. I actually have some Clomid here somewhere, but being the procrastinators we are and the pack rats to boot.. I have no idea where it is. But eventually I'll find it. I won't take it right away though. I COULD take it, but I'm not sure DH is ready to start trying THAT actively just yet. I mean, if I could be pregnant like RIGHT NOW, I would be totally over the moon!! LoL!! We all know that. Not saying DH would be NOT happy.. I just don't think he's ready to push it just yet.. So I'll save my Clomid for another time. Anyway, the general physician said he'd send me to an ob/gyn if the two cycles don't regulate me. But even with all this, I'm hoping to have that BFP by the end of the year.. Hoping.. :) Will I? Who knows, but here's hoping and praying.. I'll POAS before taking the Provera, just to be sure.. (And hoping for an already BFP..) I've been having loads of spotting lately. Even a really.. REALLY light AF.. I mean REALLY light. And you know what all us TTC gals hope for every time we get weird symptoms.. (BFP!!! I keep saying it cause I'm REALLY hoping for it.. LoL!!)

Mean while, I've been planing like crazy. Will I cloth diaper? Breastfeed? (Definately) Baby Carrying? (Oh yeah...) Co Sleep? (Same room, maybe not same bed though.) There's lots to plan. Cloth diapering is a great thing and you're helping the environment and all that, but I'm probably not going to do it. It's pretty expensive to start and I'd be a damned miracle worker to talk DH into spending $130 plus in one lump for some diapers! He's actually already said not likely, so with that I won't push it.. However, those flushable diapers sound like a great idea.. Keeps poop out of the trash and out of landfills... Out of the ground water.. I think it's just a liner that goes in the diaper.. Though how AWESOME would a stand alone flushable diaper be?!

Well, I guess that's all for now.. More to come...


Jen

This is it!!

After a very difficult BFN last month, I decided to just go for treatment and just get the pills. Get the Clomid and Provera and go from there. I wanted it to be natural from beginning to end, but I'm going to have to take a medical detour. I'm not getting any younger and this isn't going to get any easier.

So here I am.. Waiting to start fertility treatments. Dec 16 or 22 depending which appointment is available. Shockingly, DH is happy about it. Not sure if je really is happy or if he's just glad I'm doing something "normal". Not all that herbal "crap" I tend to like to do. I love doing things herbally and with meditation. But I'm not opposed to western medicine. Just western attitudes. But I'll take the western medicine and still burn my incense and meditate. Theres no law against it.

The hard thing I have to do though is quit smoking. I am so not ready for that!! LoL! But it must b done. I've decided to quit when I start taking the pills. Some of it is due to that new commercial http://tobaccofreeflorida.com has where the woman gets a BFP and there's smoke around her head and then it was around her baby's head. The rest is due to the fact that I'm just sick of smoking but the addiction keeps me lighting up. The patch wouldn't do me much good cause a good portion of my addiction is just the habit of smoking and you can't smoke a patch or gum. So those aids won't help much. I'd benefit more from support groups, journaling,and blogging. Not to mention twittering. DH isn't the "support" type and his "encouragement" is usually so frank it comes across kinda mean. So that's not gonna help. Luckily my iPhone is always with me and I usually always have a some Internet connection, so I'll be able to blog or Twitter. I should be ok. Though it will still be hard, I have some time, as fertility treatments rarely work immediately. I think the sooner that ball gets rolling the better. Don't wanna have a smokey baby. :p

well I guess that's pretty much it for now. Good thing is I'm more focused on the baby now- or rather, I'm focused again on it. :)

More as it becomes available.

Jen

Yep, I'm trying again.. With help of course..

You can't have a kid alone, right? Well, here I am after THINKING I had happily moved on from the baby obsession. Well, my clock is ticking again. I know I'll need help (I mean other than hubby help.) I'll need meds AND I have to lose WEIGHT. That is gonna be the hardest part. I mean, I'd lost weight before, but as soon as that stress hit my ass I as right back up there. I'm very inactive now. Some days, Only get out of bed for about 2 hours!! I know that's somewhat depression, but I'll get over that. It's not major.. Most of it, I must say is LAZINESS. But if I want this kid to come to be, I have some big changes to make. I think the little one is worth it.

I'm already to start my herbal treatment. I ordered FertilAid for Women and FertilAid CM. These are supposed to be like herbal Prevera and clomid all in one. Am I looking for this to work.. Well, I'm HOPING for it to, but I've learned after a life of getting my hopes dashed to not get them up too high. Still I gotta be able to say I tried. I love my unborn children already and I will do what I have to to bring them into the world. :)


This is my journal. It will be full of feelings. I know somedays will be good. Some bad.. Some, I'll be just HERE. LoL.. But I feel keeping a journal is the best way to keep a lid on that. I've joined several support groups, so I have my bases covered in the support area. I need to get in touch with a OBGYN to get that ball rolling. But all that will be done in time.

How's hubby taking all this. Well, he's not the emotional type like me. He's more of a do it or don't attitude. Thus the groups. They'll give me that extra support I need when I'm about to collapse to the floor in tears and he's telling me "Get up and just DO IT!!" And I need someone to say "It'll be ok.. Now go do it.." Same thing. Different approach, ya see. :)

Well, feelings... Today, I feel... Alright I guess. I ate light all day. No real activity though, but the light meal is a start. Today is the full moon, that's always good. I have my water, herbs, and coins purifying in the window sill. :) Tomorrow I'll offer them up to the spirits. (Oh yeah, I want to make sure my kids learn this. It's a nice jesture. Especially if you're not just praying for YOU.) Anyway, that has nothing to do with this.. I feel good to be back into that kinda thing. The whole Priestess deal. Gives you a nice peaceful feeling inside.. Well inside ME anyway. I guess I'm pretty happy today. I haven't started any treatments yet, so there's not hormonal out bursts yet. I'm sure those will be hella interesting. :)

I guess that's all for now.. More as it becomes available. :p

Jen