Waiting..

For my products.. :p

I ordered some FertilAid, as I think I mentioned in my first post, but I haven't gotten it yet. I thought I'd be getting it today, but I looked on Amazon again today, and it said BETWEEN the 11th and the 16th. <_< I might have known.. Oh well, what's 5 more days? It's coming to the mail box so I don't have to be waitin' for no UPS man to show up. Anyway, I've been in pretty good spirits. Hubby and I aren't arguing much. Especially not as much as we once have. But we are getting into MINI arguements. Just little stuff. Like he'll be ridin' me about the house not being ANALLY clean. I'm looking at it. It looks like most people's houses, but he's having a hissy fit about it.. I don't know. I think he's gittery about the baby that we're planning. I've stopped arguing with him so much. Except my obsessive baby tv watching. That's kinda getting to him. I think it reminds him that "Hey, won't be long before I'm a daddy again. For the first time with this woman! Will we raise a good kid or will she raise it all FREAKY headed like she is?!!" LoL.. Well, papa, get use to it.. And yes, the baby will be freaky headed like me. :p

Emotionally, I guess I'm doing alright. No real tearful breakdowns, though I do bet teary sometimes. But then that's normal for me. Some days I just feel overwhelmed.. Just overly STIMULATED.. Like a 3 year old.. Just too much going on and I need DOWNTIME.. If I get it, I'm usually fine. Wonder how that'll play out when we're parents? When I'm somebody's mommy. I'll trade my downtime and me time for being a mommy.. For someone to call me "mommy".. Or "Mama" Or "Ma" whatever, long as it's my kid, ya know? I even look forward to dirty diapers.. :)

I guess I've stopped gaining weight, thankfully. (Then again maybe not, just got a glance at the waist line and hips.. YIKES! :O ) I have to start going down. I think at least 20lbs before I get pregnant. Then again I may have time to lose more, cause I think this will be a challenge. i'm not gonna be just knocked up at the drop of a hat. But hopefully we'll get pregnant soon. With in the next 5 years (Hopefully within the next 6 MONTHS, but I'm being realistic.) I'm giving it until 40 totally. In 5 years I'll be 36, so that'll give 4 years of hope, then at 40, oh well.. Just not gonna happen. Not that there's anything wrong with being 40 and pregnant, that's just when I'm gonna stop buying fertility drugs and supplements and all that and just start focusing on beginning a new part of life and enjoying that. But I actually have 9 more years to try with all my might. I'd love to have 2 kids, but I'd feel blessed to have one healthy baby. One thing at a time, right?

Well, this isn't a long post. Just posting some feelings on my ttc situation and praying for the best..

Baby Dust and praying for a Sticky Bean.

Jen